Saturday nights for a single mom

I’ve been a single mom off and on since I was 23 more on than off. In my younger years, when Danny and Dallas were little, I went out almost every Saturday night. I taught country dances at a bar almost every night until I had kids. I missed it; I still do really. 

I was divorced by the time Dallas was 6 weeks old. My mom and I lived together and she was my biggest help keeping the kids while I worked. So Saturday nights were filled with dancing and partying. As my 30’s approached, I dated lots. I met most of them online. Gasp! I dated online before it was the okay thing to do. I could write a book about all of my first and only dates. It did keep me going out. 

I met my second husband online, although we went to high school together. I was 33. I spent as many Saturday nights with him as I could, but also spent time with my kids. They were 10 and 8 at the time. When Tim and I married in 07, I had been a single mom for 11 years. 

Tim and I had a child in 2008 and I was finally a mom with a dad there to help out. Unfortunately, we divorced when she was 3. 2011. Once again I was a single mom with a 17 year old, 15 year old, and 3 year old. It was hard. Saturday nights out were easier though with Delanie going to her dad’s every other weekend. 

I dated a little, but now I was 40 and it was much harder to find someone interested in essentially starting over with my little one. 

Tragically,  Tim passed away in 2014. I was truly the single mom again.  I had a serious boyfriend at this time who helped me through that difficult time. 

Fast forward to today. I have a son who will be 22 this month, a daughter in heaven forever 20, an 8 year old, and my 2 year old granddaughter. Dating is essentially nonexistent. I’m 45 and completely starting over again. I’m learning how to be okay being alone and it’s hard as hell for me. My main focus is my girls, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love someone to help me raise them and be here to hug me when I cry and celebrate with me when something wonderful happens. 

I will be 60 when Madelyn is 18. At that point I’ll be too old to be worrying about dating or being a single mom. Life has handed me a life where I’m destined to do this on my own. By the time I reach her graduating high school, I will have been a single mom for 20 years. That’s a lifetime, but if that’s God’s plan then I will continue focusing on my children and progress in healing and maybe, just maybe I can say I’m happy again. 

Single Moms Rock!!!!

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