I only have 2 things to complete before I will have done everything for Dallas. What do I do after they’re done? I have put these things off as long as I can, because it’s like she will finally be “gone”, when they are completed.
Design and order the headstone and bench.
I have finally completed gathering the pictures I would like used on both. A wonderful friend drew everything out for me to use. It wasn’t difficult to choose the things to place on them, but choosing where and how to design both has been the difficult part. I designed my ex-husband’s, but it was so much easier. I knew exactly what he loved: Dallas Cowboys star, favorite Bible verse, and mentioning our baby girl.
Dallas spent 10+ years cheering, so a cheerleader was a must. I also wanted everyone, for generations to come, to know just how beautiful my baby was in this life. She also loved giraffes and owls. I chose an owl that I hope she would love. We had actually discussed her having an angel holding a toddler to represent her and her baby girl. I found a beautiful picture depicting just that. I’ve incorporated a dragonfly and a picture of the tattoo I will be getting. It’s a symbol of a mother and daughter intertwined. The last engraving will be of Madelyn’s hand with the words, Mommy’s pumpkin. The verse on the bench is a saying she and I spoke about getting as matching tattoos, but never did.
” I’ll like you for always, I’ll love you forever. As long as I’m living, My baby you’ll be.”
I think my girl would be proud and happy with what I have chosen. It will be a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.
The second “chore” I have procrastinated on is writing thank you cards. It’s not that I am not forever grateful and thankful for everyone and everything people have done for my family and me, it just means I will have to go through that “white bag”. It also means I have to look through the registration book of all those who came to pay their respects. That will be bittersweet considering all that came to support my Mom and me, but how only 2 friends stood by Dallas until the very end. That still and for a long time makes me angry and sad.
I bought some pretty owl thank you cards, and plan on beginning to fill them out soon. I know I have to get it done. I may bring a few each day to work, because I will tend to get less upset in this setting.
2 last things and the planning and arranging will be finished. Then I just have the rest of my life to grieve and deal with the emotional rollercoaster I am on.