Cleaning out my closet

I’m sure most people remember where they were when they heard huge news whether good or bad. I was in the Treasury store in Memphis when I heard that Elvis had died. Of course, it meant nothing really to me at 6 years old. I was home alone when my step mom told me over the phone my Daddy had died. I was at my desk at work when I found out again on the phone that Tim had died. 

I was cleaning out my closet with Madelyn helping me when I found out through FB messenger that my baby had passed away. 

Is there ever a better way than others to find out devestating life changing news?

During my 20+ day and night stay in the ICU waiting room, I saw many people learn that kind of news. Always a bad sign when they called you back to the “consultation” room. I was called there the first 2 nights. It was a nightmare. Those called back ranged from a young newly married woman who lost her husband after a month there. An older gentleman who lost his wife after just a few hours. I remember him saying, but Joy comes in the morning, over and over. Joy did not come for him that morning. A mother who lost her 30 year old son from a drive by shooting. Seeing all that loss changes you. 

I still haven’t finished cleaning out my closet. Tomorrow will be 8 weeks. I have shoved clothes in various places, so we could sleep on the bed. I don’t know if I will ever finish that chore or be able to do it again without crying the whole time. 

Maybe some day, Joy will come in the morning. 

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