Leaving the hospital for the last time

I had people all over the US and Canada pleading for someone to help save my daughter’s life. I can still her crying and begging to not let her die. I had let her down. As a mother your sole job is to keep your child safe and I had failed, miserably. 

Hospitals and nurses kept telling us no more than 2 heart valve surgeries or no surgery due to drug use. They were going to let my child pay the ultimate price for her past mistakes. 

Tupelo’s plan was IV antibiotics at another facility ie a hospice place to prolong her life as much as possible. At home antibiotics were out of the question, because they refused her a PICC line. Dallas refused to die in a hospital bed away from Madelyn. I didn’t blame her at all. She had already missed so much of her baby’s life while she had been in and out with surgeries and rehabs. 

The decision was made to sign out AMA and look for a hospice on our own. This of course was not before I showed what a mom acts like when a bunch of non-feeling judgemental people tell you your child is being sent home to die. The dr who signed her orders to go to hospice was as judgemental as they come and someone none of us had ever even met. Walking in all high and mighty like a god determining life and death. Yes, I showed my ass. It took 3 security officers to come sit in the hall and watch me and escort Dallas and me from the hospital. It was a good laugh at least for us.  

Finally at home. It was a long drive with a lot of tough conversations. 


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