Because of Madelyn’s surgery, I didn’t really get “fall break”. This typically when I try to get some things around the house done. Switch out summer clothes, clean out garage, playroom, etc…
I began with the playroom/sunroom. We couldn’t even see the floor. The majority of things we had agreed to keep were in a huge box in the middle of the room. The girls had been using the porch swing box as a boat in the playroom. Now it was serving as a huge toy box. I worked for about 30 minutes until the first memory came. Dallas had written Madelyn Grace on her Halloween bucket from last year. It was beginning to fade, so I took a picture. I pushed on and quickly came across numerous build a bears we had made together. The 2 most significant ones are a dinosaur we made at Walt Disney World Rainforest Cafe’ and the Christmas cat we made after seeing Santa Claus at the mall last year. Dallas had recorded her voice saying, “I love you, Madelyn”. That did me in for a while.
Next I thought I could try the kitchen cabinets. You know that junk drawer and cabinet or all those platinum containers with no lids. I started on those and moved to the other cabinet. First thing I saw was a pack of lighters I had bought Dallas. The girl was always losing her lighters. Yes, she smoked. The least of my worries. I thought, come on, Debbi, you can do this.
I move on to the garage. I clean for a while making good progress. I find an old binder Delanie has been using for playing school. In the back are papers from Dallas’s time at Northwest. Along with a few other things, seeing her handwriting is like a punch in the gut. Just a sweet young lady taking notes in history class. Normal things. Things she will never be able to finish.