As most people who have ever lost anyone can tell you, the firsts are the hardest. I know exactly how that feels. my Daddy missed my junior prom by just weeks and Tim missed Delanie’s birthday party by one day. Now, the firsts have begun for Madelyn and me and Dallas. Although she’s too young now to understand, one day she will and every major event in her life will be a first without her Mommy.
As we approach or are into the holiday season, I can feel the tension or emotions coming. I made it through Halloween (Madelyn’s birthday) and I will make it through these next holidays coming up. It will not be without many memories and emotion.
Thanksgiving. A time most people give daily thanks through out the month. most are typical things like family, friends, God, health, etc..I can’t even begin a list of my thankfulness. I know I have many blessings, but they all seem so insignificant and far away. I remember Thanksgiving’s of the past. When Dallas was in kindergarten, I have such cute picture of her and her “boyfriend” smiling as pilgrims and indians at their feast. Going to my Papaw’s in Texas and him cooking for us. Dallas only wanted to play with his dogs. So many memories….
Now, we have to make new memories. New ones without her here. I can’t bear to do any that remind me of her. I want Delanie and Madelyn to have only happy memories of the holiday season.