When Dallas was pregnant, I remember thinking and debating what I’d like the baby to call me. Most people suggested GiGi or Mimi. I thought the first one sounded like a stripper and I had a close friend who’s name is MiMi. All of my children (actually everyone in my immediate family) have name’s that begin with D. DeDe seemed like the perfect answer to my question. Of course, I know that even the best intentions can be messed up. The baby was going to call me whatever she wanted to. Since most babies say their D sound first, I had hoped it’d be easy for her to get the hang of it. It was. This was a sign I knew that I had chosen correctly.
She has always called me DeDe until about 2-3 months ago. Now she calls me Mommy more than DeDe. She alternates between both now. At first, it totally caught me off guard. It broke my heart, because I had promised Dallas that Madelyn would never forget her. She would always know who her Mommy was and how much she loved her.
Now, I don’t really correct her. At day care she runs to me calling Mommy, Mommy when I get there. The other little ones tell her your Mommy is here. She hears Delanie call me Momma all the time, so I know how confused she must be. She will see a picture of Dallas and still call her Mommy. Her little mind is so confused.
Two nights ago while lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, Madelyn asked if I would be her Mommy (actually said U be my mommy, right?). I assured her I would be her Mommy. She asked 3 more times. Delanie, in the dark, said it’s okay Mom, just let her call you that. I told her I was going to, but it mad me sad she wouldn’t remember her real Mommy. Delanie in her 8 year old wisdom said, but Mom you can just explain it all to her later. She’s too young to understand. You see, Delanie has already been through 2 deaths, so she knows how hard it is to understand.
So what really is in a name? Either one means that Madelyn loves me and I love her.