What are your beliefs? I can remember after my Daddy passed away, I would lay in bed asking him for a sign that he was okay and with me. Nothing. That may be when I began doubting a lot of my “religious” beliefs.
Never have I felt such an urge to know someone was okay as I have since Dallas has gone to Heaven. I am a member of many groups on FB of moms who have lost children and families who have lost loved ones from drug issues. I asked them if anyone had considered speaking to a medium. The response was overwhelming. Many had wasted money on con artists, but later found someone with whom they connected.
I had some PM me names and websites and their personal stories. I was still so skeptical. I know us moms especially are grasping at anything for comfort. So, I took the leap and contacted someone.
She knew my name and email address. Of course, later my phone number, but I contacted her first. She knew nothing of who I had lost and wanted to connect with or any background information.
What I experienced (yes, just over the phone) was unexplainable. She told me things, that yes, I had posted on FB, but did she hack my account? Who knows? There are quite a few things that I haven’t posted about or even mentioned to anyone. Dallas spoke to me through her. After we got off the phone, I can’t even explain the exhaustion I felt. It’s like my energy had been sucked up and used during this communication with Dallas.
I am at peace knowing my child told me she is more than perfect, healthy, and happy with God. She continually told me to let go of my guilt and she knows even until the end, I did all that I could for her. She also told me how much she loved me. The lady said she really wished I could feel the abundance of love Dallas was trying to give me.
I still miss her every minute, cry through out the day, and know it will get harder before easier. But, I also know she is with me every minute, beyond just okay, forgives me, and loves me.
Think I’m just a grief crazed mom grasping at some peace? That’s totally okay. I understand. I didn’t believe before either.We each have our own beliefs.
God is holding my daughter and nothing else in the world matters to me.