I knew my speaking out about talking to a medium was risky, but I’ve never shied away from controversy before.
What I didn’t realize is how I would lose the peace, love, and joy I felt from it by writing about it. I only got a week of peace. Even people that had no idea commented on how I looked different and less stressed.
I’m a Christian! I don’t know the Bible like many others and can’t pull out bible verses to back my beliefs, but I believe in Jesus. God and I are on great terms.
I’ve now been told by people that mediums are of Satan and my speaking to them is putting my own salvation at risk. That people have lost their whole kingdoms, because they sought the advice of mediums.
This is so hard for me to believe. See, the guilt I have carried around for years over not being able to save my own child is crippling me. I function, but that’s it. No real living. The thoughts of my failure as a mom haunt my every waking moment. My sadness over the way she left my house for the last time, the last words truly spoken to each other, and her being alone at the time of her death are truly indescribable. No one understands this, NO ONE!
Dallas spoke to me last Thursday. She said things no one else knows about, things that happened after she passed, and some things I’ve never even voiced out loud to anyone.
Why would Satan want me to be at peace? Wouldn’t he want me to continue to feel guilty and sad and struggle with even staying on this Earth?
Now, just days before Christmas I am back to bearing the guilt of a mom who failed her child and must live with the grief and sadness every day.
I guess I asked for it by putting my experience out there for the world to see. I just wanted to know my baby was okay. A lesson learned for me. Even if I am overjoyed about something, sharing may not be in my best interest.