Huge black hole….

That’s where I’ve been, the huge black hole of depression.  Those that suffer from severe acute depression know that place well, unfortunately.  It’s a slippery slope from making through each day to waking up under the black cloud of sadness.  I’ve dealt with this so long, I know when I’m beginning to slide; however, I can’t seem to stop it.  The dishes don’t get done, dinner is fast food, laundry piles up, and so does the dog hair.

I’m coming out of the fog, and I feel like better days may lie ahead.  Not good days, but better than the last couple of months.

The holidays were hard.  Indescribably hard.  The fact that I almost lost her at the holidays and I knew when her last holidays would be then missing her at the first holidays without her.  I didn’t feel like writing, talking to others, celebrating, or much of anything else.  I wanted to eat and sleep (my 2 new vices).

Slowly, I have moved on from the sad holidays and began a new routine for the new semester at work and new school for Madelyn.  So many things I want to write about, but I will alternate between catching back up with that horrible time in the hospital to just daily struggles or triumphs.

I’ve missed getting my thoughts out and I know now it is a huge help in dealing with my grief, depression, and anxiety.

❤ y’all

Debbi

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