That’s where I’ve been, the huge black hole of depression. Those that suffer from severe acute depression know that place well, unfortunately. It’s a slippery slope from making through each day to waking up under the black cloud of sadness. I’ve dealt with this so long, I know when I’m beginning to slide; however, I can’t seem to stop it. The dishes don’t get done, dinner is fast food, laundry piles up, and so does the dog hair.
I’m coming out of the fog, and I feel like better days may lie ahead. Not good days, but better than the last couple of months.
The holidays were hard. Indescribably hard. The fact that I almost lost her at the holidays and I knew when her last holidays would be then missing her at the first holidays without her. I didn’t feel like writing, talking to others, celebrating, or much of anything else. I wanted to eat and sleep (my 2 new vices).
Slowly, I have moved on from the sad holidays and began a new routine for the new semester at work and new school for Madelyn. So many things I want to write about, but I will alternate between catching back up with that horrible time in the hospital to just daily struggles or triumphs.
I’ve missed getting my thoughts out and I know now it is a huge help in dealing with my grief, depression, and anxiety.